ugly people sure do ruin things
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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