I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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