My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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