Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
