matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
