you traded sex for a burrito?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
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I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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