so explain again why im purple
no
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
