you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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