I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
