Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
