every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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