Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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