we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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