I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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