What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Randomize
