I look better un-naked...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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