Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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