How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I am available for nakedness
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
