do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
