I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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