Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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