Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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