Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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