Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize