In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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