Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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