I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
