We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
