Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
