I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
