seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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