he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
