I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
