That's when you crack a 10am beer
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
