I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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