Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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