ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
