First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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