my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think i have two assholes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
