8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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