He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
