The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
