Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
