Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
