I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
