dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The beer is more important than you right now.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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