Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
