Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
