Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
