Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
