Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
