if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im holly from the hills drunk
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
