It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
