So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
