Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
