So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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