quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
