he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
