TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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