You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
