sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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