i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
