Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
